


Sawadee Pee Mai

by JjdoggieS



Series: All Is Calm, All Is Bright [19]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Diego Hargreeves, Christmas, Christmas Music, Diego is a bit of a scrooge, Ficmas, Ficmas 2020, Harcest Ficmas, Harcest Ficmas 2020, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Ornaments, Pansexual Klaus Hargreeves, Please Don't Hate Me, There is some bashing of mariah carey and micheal buble, also mentions of homophobia, also!!, but he's also reasonable, but it is not serious!!, but its in a joking manner mostly, but its very light!!, but still please be cautious if smtn like that might bother you, its meant to be a joke, tbh its barely there, there's some mentionings of lgbtq issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28250799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JjdoggieS/pseuds/JjdoggieS
Summary: Klaus had a knack for driving Diego crazy. And apparently, his current medium of annoyance, was playing Christmas music way too early. Like, the day after Halloween early.Harcest Ficmas: Day 19 - Ornaments
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves
Series: All Is Calm, All Is Bright [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034832
Kudos: 8
Collections: Harcest Ficmas 2020





	Sawadee Pee Mai

**Author's Note:**

  * For [msouma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/msouma/gifts).



People that decorated their houses with Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving were the bane of society and a nuisance to Diego’s existence. They were _almost_ as bad as the annoying people that lost their shit over pumpkin spice lattes, or the privileged assholes that felt they _deserved_ to have special treatment just for merely existing. But what Diego hadn’t expected, was that _Klaus_ would be a thorn in his side for nearly two whole months.

The day, _not even 24 hours_ after Halloween and trick or treating was over, Diego walked back into their house from his morning workout to hear Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas blasting from a speaker that he hadn’t known they a. had and b. worked. 

“Klaus?” Diego yelled, barely able to hear himself over Mariah Carey’s singing, “Where the hell are you?”

As soon as Diego yelled his question, Klaus rounded a corner as he sang along with Mariah Carey, let to actually notice Diego’s presence. That was at least, until Klaus nearly crashed into him, jumping back startled. “Diego!” Klaus yelled, either not noticing or not caring about how loud everything was, “I didn’t realize you’d gotten back. And so soon! Did you shorten your run? Skip out on talking to your workout buddies? Only lift 50 reps instead of 100?”

Ignoring the _obviously_ distracting questions Klaus was asking him, and instead asked, “Klaus, why the hell am I hearing Christmas music in November?”

“First of all, I will not allow you to disrespect Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas like this.” Klaus said, turning off the speaker Diego hadn’t noticed before continuing, “And second of all, what’s wrong with playing Christmas music?”

“There’s nothing wrong with playing Christmas music, Klaus.” Diego said, already having a feeling as to where this was going to be going, already getting a small headache, “The _issue_ is Klaus, is that you’re playing Christmas music in November.”

Klaus, possibly just playing dumb at this point, still looked confused, asking, “And, what’s wrong with playing Christmas music in November? Other people do it all the time!”

“Most people don’t play Christmas music until _after_ Thanksgiving Klaus.” Diego replied. “ _Not_ the day after Halloween.”

Although Klaus _looked_ like he wanted to argue, but also knew he’d lose if he did, huffed, “Fine! I won’t play Christmas music the day after Halloween.” And true to his word, Klaus didn’t play any more Christmas songs for the rest of the day. 

And _only_ for the rest day.

The very next day, the first thing Diego heard after getting home from work, was Micheal Bublé’s It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas was playing, albeit at a much lower volume than Mariah Carey’s had been the previous day. Nevertheless, it was still _far_ too early for Diego to be hearing either Mariah Carey or Micheal Bublé or any other artist that’s notoriety came from their own Christmas song. 

“Klaus!” Diego yelled, again, “Get your lanky, skinny ass over here!”

Just as Klaus had done the day before, he rounded the same corner, looking unaffected by Diego’s yelling, but he _had_ at least paused the music this time so they could talk without yelling over it. “How can I help you Diego dearest?” Klaus asked, “And if you wanted a piece of my lanky, skinny ass all you have to is ask.”

Once again, Diego ignored the obvious distractions and avoidance Klaus was using, and instead asked, “I thought we just talked yesterday about playing Christmas music _right_ after Halloween Klaus?”

“Oh no, no, no, dearest love of my life.” Klaus countered, his shit-eating grin now present on his face as he continued, “You said that playing Christmas music the _day_ after Halloween was too early. Now, it’s two days after Halloween.”

“That’s not, that wasn’t, that wasn’t the point Klaus!” Diego hissed, half-heartedly glaring at his boyfriend, “And I meant that _anyone_ that plays it before Thanksgiving was a nuisance to society. Not that you should wait a day before playing it again.”

The shit-eating grin stayed on Klaus’s face as he told Diego, “Well, that’s where I differ from everyone else that does such an enjoyable yet damnable guilty pleasure. You have to deal with it because you love me. So shut up enjoy Micheal Bublé’s beautiful and alluring singing voice.”

“I, no Klaus.” Diego started, trying to process the word vomit that Klaus had just given him, “Why can’t you just wait until after Thanksgiving to play Christmas music? You know like a normal person.”

“When the hell have I ever done something that’s normal behavior Diego?” Klaus asked with a laugh, “And what’s the fun in waiting to do something when I could just do it now, and enjoy it longer?”

Having a feeling that Klaus wasn’t going to simply hold off on playing Christmas music solely because he asked, Diego moved to more _manipulative_ means. “Klaus, for as long as you play fucking Christmas music, we’re not having sex.”

If the offended and horrified gasp that came from his boyfriend was anything to go off of, Diego’s threat seemed to have worked. Especially considering, “Well, when would you deem it ‘appropriate’ to play Christmas music so we can still fuck like minks?” was the next thing that came out of Klaus’s mouth. 

And Diego, feeling rather spiteful for being subjected to two days of Christmas music in November, replied, “December 1st.”

“But you said after Thanksgiving before! That’s a whole week _after_ Thanksgiving!” Klaus sputtered, looking outright offended before adding, “This is homophobic!”

“It’s not homophobic Klaus.” Diego replied with an eye roll, quite used to Klaus’s typical theatrics at this point, “And you can’t use that as an explanation anytime you don’t get your way on something! And besides, we’re both gay.”

Klaus looked to be in thought for a moment, clearly formulating some kind of response. And once he had one it was, “I’m pan thank you very much, and you’re bi! And! Just because your LGBTQ doesn’t mean you can’t be homophobic!”

Diego sighed, not wanting to have _that_ discussion right now. “I know that Klaus.” Diego said, making sure that his tone was serious, hoping to be clear with Klaus that he understood and knew about the disgusting behavior that he’d seen from other people, “But that still doesn’t mean that I’m being homophobic for holding you accountable for your actions.”

“Fine.” Klaus groaned, jumping right back into his typical theatrical nature. “So,” Klaus continued, “about that date, would I be able to-“

“Nope.” Diego answered, knowing that Klaus was going to try to convince him to shorten the time between now and when Klaus could play Christmas music, in the house at least, and still have sex with Diego whenever both of them wanted to. And not wanting to deal with Klaus likely pestering him every day between then and now, Diego added, “And every time you ask me to change it, I’m adding another day.”

“That’s just cruel Diego!”

“Shut up, you know you deserve it.”

“This is cruel and unusual punishment!”

“So is having to listen to Mariah Carey and Micheal Bublé.”

“You take that back, Diego.”

“Nope, being subjected to listening to Mariah Carey and Micheal Bublé is cruel and unusual punishment, Klaus.”

Despite Klaus complaining nearly the entire time, Diego relished in the 28 days he had of peace and quiet. Free of Mariah Carey or Micheal Bublé or any other artist that reappeared once a year. And, of course, the second that the clock struck midnight on December 1st, Diego was once again having to hear Mariah Carey tell him what she wanted for Christmas. Soon after followed by Micheal Bublé describing what a town looked like during the holiday season and several renditions of cheesy, kiddy Christmas songs. And regardless of the horrible, cliche Christmas songs that Klaus subjected Diego to, it was still a damn good Christmas.

**Author's Note:**

> Update survey if you're interested -> https://forms.gle/kj4UBqMeUThavmnx6


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